


Recognition

by deathmarkedlove_archivist



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2007-01-29
Packaged: 2019-01-16 12:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12342915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathmarkedlove_archivist/pseuds/deathmarkedlove_archivist
Summary: Buffy has amnesia. PG





	Recognition

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Hils, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Death-Marked Love](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Death-Marked_Love). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Death-Marked Love collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/deathmarkedlove/profile).

Spike and Dawn are slowly making their way up the walk to Buffy's house. Their faces are somber. Dawn looks as if she wants to say something. Suddenly, she stops and steps around to face Spike, blocking his way up the path.

 

DAWN

Are you sure you're ready for this?

 

Spike stares past Dawn at the front door and just barely nods.

 

SPIKE

Uh huh.

 

DAWN

She's not going to remember you.

 

Spike winces slightly and looks back at Dawn.

 

DAWN (cont.)

I know what you're thinking. It'll be different with you. Buffy knows you. Seeing you is bound to jog her memory, even if it's just to remember how much you got on her nerves, because you and Buffy have a special connection... That's what we all thought, Spike. But she doesn't remember any of us. And the doctor says there's only a thirty percent chance she ever will.

 

SPIKE

Dawn. I _understand_. I'm fine. I just want to see her.

 

Spike tries to step around Dawn, but she blocks him again.

 

DAWN

But--

 

SPIKE

(angry)

Bloody hell! What's the matter with you? Why don't you want me to go in there?

 

Dawn takes a moment to plan her words.

 

DAWN

Okay. Spike... I think when they sent me to get you, they did it because they wanted to tell Buffy about you, without me around. They think I'm biased. Which, of course, I am. But, I just think you should know, that it was probably Giles or Xander who explained to Buffy who you are. I never got the chance. It all happened... kinda fast.

 

There is a small pause while Spike lets this sink in.

 

SPIKE

Well. Can't imagine they painted me in a very good light, eh?

 

DAWN

That's why I'm thinking maybe you should wait and give me a little more time to try and... fix things. I'll just say you weren't ready.

 

Spike smiles at his friend and puts a hand on her shoulder.

 

SPIKE

It's a valiant effort, little bit, but she just wouldn't be Buffy if there wasn't a challenge.

 

Dawn smirks up at Spike and takes a deep breath.

 

DAWN

Okay then. Here we go.

 

INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - SAME TIME

 

Buffy is sitting at the dining room table, with Willow and Tara, examining photo albums.

 

BUFFY

So, at the present time I have no parents.

 

WILLOW

Well, you're dad's alive, he's just... well... we don't know where he is, exactly.

 

BUFFY

(shyly)

You know, when I first woke up I thought Giles was my dad.

 

TARA

Well, actually, that's not very far off. Giles has always been kind of like your honorary dad.

 

BUFFY

But not my step dad.

 

WILLOW

No. Although he and your mom did... Okay, inappropriate story for right now. Not to mention... way too hard to explain. I'll save it for another day.

 

Buffy just nods politely, having no clue what Willow is talking about.

 

TARA

The point is, we're all kind of your family now, so you don't have to feel alone.

 

BUFFY

Thank you... Oh God, I'm so sorry, I forgot your name.

 

TARA

(sweetly)

It's okay. It's Tara.

 

BUFFY

And my sister is... Dawn?

 

WILLOW

Very good. You're really getting the hang of this.

 

BUFFY

Well, the names part is kind of easy. I can remember that you're Willow and now I promise not to forget now that you're Tara, and those other guys are Annie, Xander and Giles--

 

WILLOW

Anya.

 

Buffy presses her palm to her forehead.

 

BUFFY

Anya, right. Grrr. I'll get it. I'll get it. But... that other stuff... I don't know if I want to "get the hang of" the other stuff.

 

WILLOW

What other stuff?

 

BUFFY

You know, the part about you being a witch and bringing me back from the dead. And the part about me killing vampires for a living. I mean. No offense... but do you realize how not credible that story is?

 

Willow smiles at Buffy but it's not enough to mask the worry on her face. _What will they do if Buffy never remembers?_

 

Suddenly, the front door opens and Dawn and Spike step gingerly in. Buffy and the other girls hear the door, but can not see it from where they sit.

 

BUFFY

Who's here?

 

WILLOW

That's probably Spike.

 

BUFFY

Spike who is a vampire?

 

WILLOW

That's the one.

 

BUFFY

But he can't hurt me because he has a chip thingie that will zap him.

 

TARA

Right.

 

BUFFY

And he used to want to kill us all, but he sort of helps now.

 

WILLOW

Very good, you remembered a lot.

 

BUFFY

But Giles didn't tell me why he just decided to help us all of a sudden. Is it because of the chip? Does that thing have a warranty?

 

WILLOW

Um... You know what? We can talk about all that stuff later. We should go into the living room, now. Don't worry, everything doesn't have to make sense right away.

 

Buffy stands tentatively.

 

BUFFY

Okay, but after this there's no more people to meet right? I mean, people, vampires, witches... nobody else, right?

 

TARA

Yeah, this is the core group. Spike is kind of the newest member, so he's the last.

 

The girls enter the living room and Buffy stops short when she sees a bleached blond man in a leather coat standing before her. His eyes bore into her. The connection is immediate.

 

Buffy flashes on a snippet of memory, it's a lot of noise and nothing is clear but she feels... pain, getting punched in the face, punching back, anger and excitement, then sorrow and fear, his eyes filled with compassion, putting a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. _Hello Cutie_. The hairs on the back of her neck stand up... she reaches up quickly to put her hand over them. Heat flushes her cheeks. And then the jumble of memories is gone.

 

BUFFY

Y-you're Spike?

 

SPIKE

Yeah... yes.

 

Spike is overwhelmed. He can't believe she's really there. She looks so beautiful and alive. And was that recognition he just saw on her face?

 

BUFFY

Well. Hi.

 

His stare makes her uncomfortable. She has to look away. He's looking at her like he's five years old and she's made of candy.

 

SPIKE

How are you, Buffy?

 

Buffy gets another prickly feeling when he says her name. There's something strange about it, something off.

 

BUFFY

Good. Fine. I feel fine. And also confused.

 

The rest of the scooby gang is standing around watching the exchange. Giles is especially curious. He saw recognition on Buffy's face as well. Something is different.

 

SPIKE

Well... hopefully not for long. I'm sure you'll get your wits about you soon enough.

 

BUFFY

You're British.

 

SPIKE

Uh... yeah.

 

BUFFY

And that's not your real hair color.

 

Spike laughs.

 

SPIKE

No.

 

BUFFY

Well, good.

 

There is a long pause while Buffy tries to stop herself from adding:

 

BUFFY

It's kind of stupid.

 

Oh yeah, there's definite recognition here. Spike exhales shakily and grins. Buffy is very surprised at herself. Why would she say such a thing to a total stranger?

 

SPIKE

Well, lets don't get into who's got the tackier bottle job.

 

BUFFY

Hey! I don't...

 

Buffy whips around to face Willow.

 

BUFFY

Do I dye my hair?

 

WILLOW

Uhh... of course not.

 

Willow makes the "Willow's Angry" face at Spike. Buffy gives him the same face for good measure.

 

ANYA

Wow. That was seconds flat.

 

XANDER

What?

 

ANYA

It took him less than a minute to piss her off. That's got to mean something.

 

Buffy folds her arms and looks down her nose at Spike.

 

BUFFY

Does he usually piss me off?

 

SPIKE

Let's just say I know how to push your buttons.

 

BUFFY

You strike me as the type who pushes everyone's buttons.

 

SPIKE

Yeah, but I just can't seem to keep my hands off yours.

 

BUFFY

(shocked)

Ew! You're a pig.

 

Buffy and Spike face off. The others can't believe that they've fallen straight back into the same old routine, even with Buffy's amnesia.

 

XANDER

Whoa, this is kind of creepy. It's like deja vu all over again. Buff? Do you remember Spike?

 

Buffy isn't sure of what to say. Out of the entire gang, this Spike guy feels the most... familiar. But she senses admitting to that will hurt the feelings of some of the others. Surely she would remember her own sister before she would remember this... undeniably attractive but very annoying man. She decides to lie.

 

BUFFY

No. Sorry. No offense to you... ( _William_?) ...Spike. I just don't really remember anyone.

 

He knows she's lying. She can see that on his face. But how can he know that? And who the hell is William?

 

Giles decides to cut through the tension with a good, old-fashioned throat clearing.

 

GILES

Ahem. Right then, now that we're all here I'd like to get this meeting underway so we can finish up early and Buffy can get some rest.

 

Buffy and Spike finally break eye contact and Spike plops heavily into an armchair. He is feeling just fine.

 

SPIKE

Lay it on us, Watcher.

 

Giles frowns at Spike.

 

GILES

Yes, well first order of business is that... if it's okay with you Buffy, I'd like to begin training again as soon as possible.

 

WILLOW

Is it, Buffy? I mean... okay with you?

 

Buffy looks around at the expectant faces and knows what they want to hear.

 

BUFFY

Sure. I mean... if what you say is true, and I have all this super strength and stuff... why waste it. Right?

 

As usual, Spike sees through her.

 

SPIKE

Uh... You know, Giles, things have been kind of slow since we got rid of that Glory pest. I don't think we need to push Buffy into anything right away. She just got back, why don't you loosen your stuffed shirt a little and let her have a bloody holiday. I'm fine patrolling on my own for right now.

 

XANDER

Hey, quit showing off, Evil Dead. You don't patrol alone! We help out.

 

SPIKE

Oh yeah... don't know how I could get by without you screaming like a woman in my ear every night.

 

XANDER

(to Buffy)

He's just trying to impress you. He does that. We really do help.

(to Spike)

Tell her.

 

SPIKE

(grinning at Buffy)

I'm just trying to impress you.

 

Buffy blushes and looks away. Something about this man is really getting under her skin. She's not sure if she likes it or not.

 

XANDER

Not that! Oh, forget it.

 

GILES

Not to interrupt this incredibly helpful bout of sniping, but may I have the floor again for a moment?

 

XANDER

(looking sheepish)

Sorry.

 

SPIKE

(spreading his arms)

Go ahead.

 

GILES

Right. Buffy. I know you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of this and I don't blame you at all. It is, at best, an extremely unusual and confusing situation. But, I think it's important to strike now, before fear and uncertainty are allowed to cloud your mind. You know... get right back on the horse and all that... em...

 

Giles is clearly nervous and has run out of words. Buffy just stares back at him, wanting to tell him that fear and uncertainty have already set up shop in her mind and have made no plans to move on.

 

SPIKE

Well... that was quite a pep talk, Rupert.

 

GILES

(exploding)

Shut UP, you tedious half-wit!

 

After a moment of shocked silence. Buffy bursts out laughing. It is a very easy, relaxed and happy laugh. The others find it contagious and even Giles ends up smiling. He takes off his glasses and rubs his tired eyes.

 

BUFFY

Okay, that was funny.

 

Everyone is a little surprised when Buffy speaks because she sounds very much like the Buffy they remember.

 

BUFFY

But listen you guys, I think I'm gonna need to take little more time with all of this. I appreciate that there has to be a slayer and I'm the one and I need to get back on my horse... (she chokes out another laugh, then quickly controls it)... but I just really, REALLY don't think I'm ready yet. But Giles, you shouldn't worry because, there's something inside of me that knows I will be ready soon. I can't explain it, I can just... feel it.

 

Giles sighs wearily and nods.

 

GILES

Of course, Buffy. I understand.

 

BUFFY

And there's something else. Just in these last few minutes... maybe because you all stopped being so polite and started acting like yourselves again... things are starting to feel really familiar. No memories are coming back or anything, this just feels right to me. I can totally see why I chose to be friends with you people. Even this one with the coat.

 

She gestures toward Spike and he looks down, shyly. This throws Buffy off a little because it's such a change from the confident swagger routine he was pulling earlier.

 

BUFFY

Uh... So, anyway... I think I just need to be by myself for a while. To take this all in. Is that okay with you guys?

 

The gang speaks at once.

 

GILES

Oh, absolutely, Buffy! I'm sorry for coming on like such a brute. I merely wanted to...

 

WILLOW

Whatever you want, we don't want to push, just step by step...

 

TARA

Of course, you just let us know if you need anything, we'll be...

 

ANYA

Whatever... you never took my advice before this, so...

 

DAWN

Yeah, it's okay. I'll stay at Spike's if you want...

 

XANDER

Totally, Buffy, we understand. We have patrolling under control...

 

Spike stays silent and simply nods at Buffy. They lock eyes and, for a moment, the noise in the room falls away. She is connecting again, with this peculiar person whom she knows nothing about except what she's been told. And although he never says a word, she knows he understands.

 

Without taking her eyes off of Spike, she speaks to the room:

 

BUFFY

Thank you.

 

EXT. BUFFY'S BACK PORCH - NIGHT

 

The gang has long since scurried off, but Buffy has found it very difficult to sleep. She wanted to be left alone, but she didn't mean abandoned in an unfamiliar house. She has the decency to realize it's her own fault. The rest of the gang just wanted to please her.

 

Dawn is sleeping soundly in her room because Giles simply refused to drive her to a sleep-over at Spike's crypt, but Buffy needs more. She is wired and wants to talk.

 

As if on cue, Spike steps out of the shadows.

Buffy leaps up and actually takes a slayer stance for a moment.

 

BUFFY

Who's there?! Oh... it's you.

 

Buffy relaxes.

 

BUFFY

Why don't you give me a heart attack? Then all my problems will be solved.

 

She sits back down

 

BUFFY

And, by the way, what are you doing here?

 

SPIKE

Never left.

 

BUFFY

Oh. (confused pause) So you were just hanging around out here? Like... stalking me?

 

SPIKE

(casually)

Yeah.

 

BUFFY

Okay. Do you... do that a lot?

 

SPIKE

Kind of.

 

BUFFY

Do I usually not mind?

 

SPIKE

Depends on your mood, really.

 

Buffy squints at him. Spike realizes he has to stop teasing. It's too confusing for her.

 

SPIKE

Look, I wasn't gonna abandon you completely. You might still have the slayer muscle, but you don't know how to use it. What if something happened? You and Dawn alone in this house... it's just not terribly safe.

 

Buffy studies him for another long moment, trying to remember.

 

BUFFY

Is there something I should know about, here? Something I'm not being told? About us.

 

SPIKE

You and me?

 

BUFFY

Is there anyone else around to qualify as an "us?"

 

Spike observes her for a moment. He has the opportunity here to spin things in a very interesting direction. Could be fun. But looking into her eyes, being the poofy bugger he's turned into, he can't bring himself to lie.

 

SPIKE

Buffy... what exactly did Giles tell you about me?

 

BUFFY

That you're a vampire. But you have this chip thing in your head so you have to help us.

 

SPIKE

(shaking his head)

Typical.

 

BUFFY

What's typical?

 

SPIKE

Let's get this straight right now. I don't have to help you. I choose to help you.

 

BUFFY

Why?

 

This question comes abruptly for Spike and he's unprepared for it.

 

SPIKE

What?

 

BUFFY

Why do you choose to help us? Aren't you supposed to be the bad guy? I mean... chip or no chip, you're still a vampire, right? You're supposed to sweep around in you black satin cape and say things like "I vant to suck your blood!"

 

SPIKE

(revolted)

Oh, God. You really don't remember anything do you?

 

BUFFY

Kinda the underlying theme.

 

SPIKE

Well, it's complicated. I started helping because... Well, I started because I just liked killing things. And killing my kind was just as fun as killing yours, it turns out.

 

Buffy pales and Spike notices this.

 

SPIKE

You want the truth, don't you?

 

BUFFY

Of course.

 

SPIKE

Truth's not pretty.

 

BUFFY

(getting up her courage)

Tell me anyway. The whole story. About everything. Tell me the parts that the others left out because they're trying to protect me.

 

SPIKE

How do you know I won't make it all up, and then fan out my cape and go 'Mwaahaaahaahhaaaaa!'?

 

BUFFY

(serious)

Because -- and this is something I hope you'll be able to shed some light on -- for reasons that I can't explain... I trust you.

 

Spike is astonished by this. Even if Buffy did feel that way before she lost her memory, she would never have admitted it to him. He looks into her glistening, receptive eyes and takes a deep breath.

 

SPIKE

Well, okay then. We'll start with "Once upon a time, there was a girl named Buffy..."

 

And so Spike proceeds to tell Buffy the story of Spike and Buffy. Amazingly, and to his own surprise, he does, in fact, telling the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but.

 

They talk for four hours straight. If one were to check in, periodically, on their conversation, it would go a little something... like this:

 

****

 

BUFFY

So you came to town just to kill me?

 

SPIKE

Well don't feel too special. We had to flee Prague anyway... angry mob situation. I've always had a knack for irritating large groups of people all at once.

 

BUFFY

Oddly, I'm not surprised.

 

****

 

BUFFY

A man made of worms? You sent a man made of worms after me?

 

SPIKE

Wasn't my finest hour, I have to admit. I got impatient. I lost respect for the art.

 

BUFFY

You were just afraid you couldn't take me.

 

Spike scoffs.

 

SPIKE

I don't think so.

 

BUFFY

Come on! You were totally running scared.

 

SPIKE

Whatever you like. You're all brain damaged so I'll humor you.

 

BUFFY

(teasing)

You assassin-hiring wuss.

 

SPIKE

Hey! Do you want to hear the rest of this story or not? Because I could be doing other stuff right now.

 

BUFFY

(laughing)

I'm sorry. I'll be good.

 

SPIKE

Don't need you to be good. Just need you to shut up.

 

Still trying to suppress a laugh, Buffy makes a zipping motion over her mouth.

 

SPIKE

That's better. Okay... so... where was I?

 

BUFFY

Worm guy.

 

SPIKE

Right... well he turned up useless... I mean, really, what's a guy made of bugs gonna do... make you puke to death?

 

****

 

BUFFY

You were there when I "came out" as a Slayer to my mom?

 

SPIKE

Yeah. She took it fairly well, considering.

 

BUFFY

But you didn't have the chip yet.

 

SPIKE

No. Not till some two years later.

 

BUFFY

I don't get it then, why were you helping me fight Angelus?

 

This halts Spike. He thinks a moment.

 

SPIKE

Okay, remember I told you about Drucilla...

 

****

 

SPIKE

You know... I think you might need to have someone else give you the details about Angel. I'm not sure I'm the most objective person to be asking. Plus I don't know anything about how you two met and all that treacly courting business. Willow'd be your best bet there.

 

****

 

SPIKE

So she was just making out on a park bench with a Chaos Demon! Have you ever seen a Chaos Demon?

 

BUFFY

I don't think so... but go back to the part where you kidnapped Willow and Xander.

 

SPIKE

Oh, right. You caught that, eh?

 

BUFFY

It stands out a little.

 

****

 

BUFFY

My boyfriend put that chip in your head?

 

SPIKE

Well, not him personally... but the people he worked for.

 

BUFFY

Those commandos? He was one of them?

 

SPIKE

Yeah, but... and I can say this now that he's gone... he wasn't such a bad guy. Very... down to earth.

 

BUFFY

You hated him.

 

SPIKE

I didn't love him.

 

BUFFY

Should I get my details from Willow?

 

SPIKE

Good idea.

 

BUFFY

Well, at any rate, I gather that this is around the same time you started helping us?

 

SPIKE

Well... yes and no.

 

****

 

BUFFY

Hold it! Go back a minute. Engaged?

 

SPIKE

Yeah. Oh, not like you think. It was a spell. Willow's spell. Long story there. Might want to put a pin in that and come back to it.

 

BUFFY

(perplexed) Glad to.

 

****

 

BUFFY

Mr. Bits?

 

SPIKE

That's what I called him. They called him Adam. Clever, right? Anyway, he just shows up in my crypt and asks for my help. Wasn't gonna turn him down... he was enormous. Plus I was really hating you lot at this point. And it wasn't like it was hard to break you up. Everyone was on edge. But in the end, it just brought you all closer together. Mr. Bits and I were foiled again.

 

****

 

SPIKE

(nervous and not meeting her eyes)

So... I don't know. It was just like one minute I hated you so much I just wanted tear your bloody throat out and the next...

 

He notices Buffy recoiling.

 

SPIKE

Sorry.

 

BUFFY

S'okay. Go on.

 

SPIKE

Well... It really hit home that day when I borrowed the initiative doc to take out my chip. You came in with Capt-- Riley and he was real sick. And to be fair I didn't know he was gonna die. Granted I was planning to kill you both anyway if the chip came out... but the point is, I got shafted and the chip was still in and I was furious. I kept going over and over in my head how much I hated you and why I hated you and how you were ruining my life... and then I realized that somewhere along the way this obsession I had with you took an unexpected turn. I couldn't get you out of my head. And I was starting to... not mind so much.

 

Buffy's looks away, flushed.

 

****

 

SPIKE

Energy or something. I'm still not sure, even now. But they made her out of you. So technically, she is your flesh and blood. It was really hard on her when she found out. She ran away. But she's really taking it in stride now. She's just a regular little kid. She's really bright and curious. That's a good thing to be as a kid. And she's funny. And also a bit of a brat... but you know... in a good way.

 

Buffy lets Spike ramble on and on about Dawn. She enjoys the way his face lights up when he talks about her.

 

****

 

BUFFY

You had me chained up?

 

SPIKE

I'll admit I was a little misguided in my attempts to woo.

 

BUFFY

Misguided?

 

SPIKE

Look, I was having a bad day. You shot me down... not even in a "can't we just be friends" way, and that's widely known to be the worst of the worst. You just annihilated me. And then Dru was back, trying to pull me into one direction. And I wanted to go in another, but you were making it impossible.

 

BUFFY

So it was my fault?

 

SPIKE

What are you getting so bloody angry about? It already happened! This is just a history lesson.

 

BUFFY

You chained me up!

 

SPIKE

Yes. Bad. I realize that now. But I was at my wits end. I just wanted you to give in... just a little bit. Admit some shred of feeling. I was wrong. I was stupid. I was just convinced that you... well... nevermind. I'm completely over it now so you don't have to worry.

 

BUFFY

Over what? Me?

 

SPIKE

Well... I'm over the idea that you might have feelings for me. How's that?

 

BUFFY

Vague.

 

SPIKE

Good. That's what I was going for.

 

****

 

SPIKE

She was a real nice lady. She knew what I was, but she didn't judge. She treated me like any one of your other friends. When Dru broke up with me she sat in that kitchen there and made me hot cocoa with little marshmallows in it. She talked to me like I was a person.

 

BUFFY

Wait. I thought you didn't have the chip when Drucilla broke up with you.

 

SPIKE

I didn't.

 

BUFFY

So when did you have cocoa with my mom?

 

SPIKE

The day I snatched Xander and Willow.

 

BUFFY

You kidnapped Xander and Willow and then had hot cocoa with my mom?

 

SPIKE

It's not like those two things were on my "To Do" list. I came to your house looking for the spell book and she was there and we got talking. (remembering, laughing) She did like to talk.

 

BUFFY

But why didn't you try to kill her?

 

SPIKE

Why would I want to do that? She was the only one of you lot that was ever decent to me. (thoughtful pause) She didn't deserve to die so young.

 

BUFFY

But how she did die... it wasn't... monster stuff. She was just sick. Right?

 

SPIKE

Yeah. Hard to believe, isn't it?

 

BUFFY

I wish I could remember her.

 

Buffy sighs deeply and hitches an unexpected sob. A tear falls down her cheek. Spike sees this and is overcome with the urge to hold her, but squelches it.

 

SPIKE

Do you want to go inside? It's kind of cold out here.

 

Buffy sniffs, wipes her face, and manages a smile.

 

BUFFY

Yeah, I do. We can make cocoa.

 

****

 

Buffy and Spike are sitting across the kitchen table from each other, drinking hot cocoa with little marshmallows. The tale has been told, from beginning to end, with as much detail as Spike could supply. For a while, they sit in silence. Then:

 

BUFFY

Wow.

 

SPIKE

I know.

 

Another long period of silence while they sip.

 

BUFFY

I should probably sleep now.

 

SPIKE

Oh... I wasn't even thinking... I'm sorry. It's really late.

 

BUFFY

No. God. Don't be sorry. Thank you! I don't know how to thank you, actually. You... you know so much about me. You've really been there, I mean, from all the way back. Even when you were... (she drops that) And thanks to you, everything makes a little more sense now. I'm not saying it makes total sense, just a little more sense than before.

(shakes her head)

That stuff about Dawn... jeez.

 

SPIKE

She really is an amazing kid, though.

 

BUFFY

(matter of fact)

You love her.

 

Spike looks deep into his cup of cocoa, embarrassed.

 

SPIKE

I have a weakness for Summers women.

 

Buffy looks away, thoughtfully, and doesn't see when Spike lifts his eyes to her again. He wants to know what she thinks about their strange and volatile relationship, but he doesn't want to push. Buffy can sense that he wants her to comment, but her mind needs rest.

 

BUFFY

Well, this Summers woman is going to bed.

 

Spike is a little disappointed. He's enjoying all the time he's getting to spend with her.

 

SPIKE

Okay, well... goodnight Buffy. Thanks for the cocoa.

 

He turns to leave.

 

BUFFY

Spike?

 

SPIKE

Yeah?

 

BUFFY

Uh... I don't know exactly how to... do you think you could... stay?

 

SPIKE

(confused)

I was planning to hang around out there till just before sunrise, if--

 

BUFFY

No! No, I don't want you lurking around outside in the bushes. There's an extra bedroom...

 

Spike is blown away. He just stares at her, open-mouthed. Buffy understands, and explains.

 

BUFFY

You didn't have to tell me the truth. You did. Whatever you were, whatever we were, we're friends now, I think. And I'd like you to stay. I don't want to be alone.

 

Spike is so moved that tears threaten to spill. He shakes the emotion away and adopts a nonchalant tone.

 

SPIKE

Sure. Absolutely. I just have to... you know... cover the windows and that.

 

Buffy smiles at him, softly.

 

BUFFY

Okay, I'm going up. Let me know if you need anything, I'll be in the... in my mom's old room.

 

HOURS LATER

 

Spike can't sleep. Buffy's old room smells like Buffy and it's driving him up the wall.

 

Suddenly, he hears a blood-curdling scream and is in the hall in less than a second. It's Buffy. He bursts into her room to find her writhing on the bed, caught in the throws of a nightmare. He runs to her, sits beside her and shakes her as gently as he can.

 

SPIKE

Buffy. Wake up, Love.

 

His soothing voice is enough to rouse her. She opens her eyes and looks up at him, confused.

 

SPIKE

You were dreaming. Didn't sound like fun.

 

BUFFY

Spike?

 

SPIKE

Yeah.

 

Slowly, she sits up.

 

BUFFY

What does Angel look like?

 

SPIKE

Angel?

 

BUFFY

Dark hair, dark eyes and wears a leather coat like you have?

 

SPIKE

Mine's better... but yeah, that's him.

 

BUFFY

I dreamed about him. I think I was remembering. We were... um... we were making love. And then his eyes went dark and he tried to kill me. I could feel his fangs in my neck. It was so real.

 

Without even thinking about it, Spike settles back against the headboard and draws her against his chest. Buffy makes no protest.

 

SPIKE

Yeah. Worst part about that whole deal is that you two were really in love. Like that kind of sickening fairy tale love, where you just know something bad's gonna happen because it's going too well. I mean, I hate the guy, and the sight of the two of you together always made me want to heave. But it was still a rotten thing to have happen.

 

BUFFY

So that's why he lost his soul. We made love. You left that part out earlier.

 

SPIKE

Well, I'm not too keen on talking about Angel to begin with, so I'm especially not gonna be very chatty about the time you and he shagged. And, anyway, what happened is just so... awful. I didn't want to bring it up unless you asked.

 

BUFFY

I still don't understand how he could go from loving me so much one minute, to hating me like that the next.

 

SPIKE

Well, if you ask your friends and your watcher they're gonna tell you that a vampire can't love without a soul. But that's just crap. Whether or not you chose to believe me is up to you.

 

Buffy says nothing, but with her head on his chest, Spike can feel her tears.

 

SPIKE

And like I said, I'm not the person to be giving an objective opinion on Angel. But, since you're asking, I've just gotta say that with or without that damned soul, he's always been kind of a dick.

 

Buffy laughs out loud. Spike is thrilled to be able to change her mood like that. While holding her, he begins to absently stroke her arm.

 

SPIKE

Here's the way I see it. You know how Catholic school girls are really little devils when they're not at church? It's because their natural tendencies are so suppressed for so long. I think that's Angel's problem... with that soul, he carries around all this guilt and responsibility. So when it's gone, he's so drunk with freedom he can't control himself.

 

BUFFY

(wistful)

Hmmmm. Spike is all wise. Spike is all knowing.

 

SPIKE

Yeah. That's what you always used to say.

 

BUFFY

Liar.

 

Spike chuckles and Buffy makes herself more comfortable against him. Within minutes, she is sound asleep. When Spike realizes this, he is unsure of what to do. He shifts a couple of times, but can't get up without waking her again. Taking a deep sigh, he tilts his head back against the headboard and stares up at the ceiling.

 

SPIKE

(to himself)

In bed with Buffy. Not quite how I pictured it... but it'll do.

 

He looks down at her and kisses the top of her head before closing his own eyes.

 

THE NEXT MORNING

 

Buffy and Spike are both lying flat on the bed now. Their positions have shifted several times in the night. Spike is now lying on his back with one arm above his head. Buffy is on her side, facing out.

 

At the sound of birds chirping outside, Buffy rolls over and lays her arm across Spike's chest.

 

BUFFY

Mmmmmm.

 

Spike jolts awake. It takes him a second to remember where he is and what's going on. He looks down at Buffy's arm. Slowly, realization dawns. He looks over at her and is slightly relieved to see that her eyes are still closed. God, she's so beautiful. He reaches up to gently stroke her face and her eyes open to meet his. He freezes here for a full three seconds, then BOLTS out of bed as quickly as he can.

 

SPIKE

I - I - I was... you fell asleep... and I couldn't... so I stayed... but I didn't...

 

Buffy sits up and just watches him curiously. He realizes he's still holding part of the blanket from the bed and drops it like a hot potato.

 

SPIKE

...anyway, the sun'll be up in a minute so I've got to go, see ya.

 

He turns to exit before making a bigger fool of himself.

 

BUFFY

Hey!

 

Spike winces and turns back to her, ready for reprimand.

 

BUFFY

I covered the windows last night. Just in case.

 

Spike blinks at her, unsure of what to make of what she just said.

 

BUFFY

See?

 

She gestures toward the window and he sees that it has, in fact, been covered to keep out sunlight. This is something he just can't get his mind around. Buffy laughs at the dopey look on his face.

 

BUFFY

So, you can stay. Okay?

 

Still not getting it, Spike studies her. She lies back down on her pillow and pulls back the covers of his side as an invitation. Okay, now he gets it. His eyes practically bug out of his head.

 

SPIKE

Buffy!

 

BUFFY

(seductive)

Yeah?

 

SPIKE

Are you... I... we can't do this!

 

BUFFY

Why not?

 

SPIKE

Why NOT?! You don't know what you're saying! You're not in your right head. You need a bloody doctor is what you need!

 

DAWN

What is all the LOUD?

 

Dawn shuffles in, groggily rubbing her eyes.

 

SPIKE

(completely rattled)

Dawn! Now, listen Dawn, nothing happened here, okay?

 

Dawn surveys the scene, then looks at Buffy who shrugs.

 

DAWN

Well... why not?

 

Spike gapes at her, then throws up his hands.

 

SPIKE

I don't know what the hell is wrong both of you. This is a sick woman here!

 

DAWN

She looks all right to me.

 

BUFFY

I feel just fine, actually.

 

Spike looks back and forth at the sisters like he's watching a tennis match, then:

 

SPIKE

Giles. I'm calling Giles.

 

He hurries into the hall and the two girls catch each other's eye and giggle quietly. Dawn goes over to sit on the bed.

 

DAWN

So what did happen?

 

BUFFY

We were up all night talking. Then he saved me from a nightmare and I fell asleep in his arms. (pause) You were right about him.

 

DAWN

Told you.

 

BUFFY

He loves you a lot, too.

 

DAWN

Yeah, I know. I have that affect on people.

 

Buffy reaches out and strokes her hair.

 

BUFFY

That you do.

 

She watches Dawn's long dark hair as it passes over her hand, then flashes on a memory of Dawn lying in her lap. Buffy is stroking her hair as they talk about... Riley?

 

DAWN

What's wrong? You okay?

 

BUFFY

(shaking it off)

Yeah. I, uh... yeah. I'm fine. We'd better get up if Giles is coming over.

 

BUFFY'S LIVING ROOM - LATE MORNING

 

Spike is pacing. Giles is sitting on the sofa, asking Buffy questions.

 

GILES

And there's no dizziness? Physically, you're feeling well?

 

BUFFY

I told you, Giles. I'm fine. Spike just got a little... anxious I guess.

 

Buffy sends Spike an evil little smile. Giles doesn't notice.

 

GILES

Spike what were you even doing here this morning?

 

Like a deer in headlights, Spike stands there, stammering. Behind Giles back, Buffy raises her eyebrows, as if to say, "Yes, I'd like to hear this too." Fortunately, Spike is rescued by Xander and Anya as they practically burst through the front door. Xander immediately seeks out Buffy.

 

XANDER

Is she okay? Did she remember anything?

 

ANYA

(to Spike)

I hope not. Xander will just die or something if he's not the first one she recognizes.

 

XANDER

(to Buffy as though she were deaf)

It's me! XANDER!

 

Buffy looks at him strangely.

 

BUFFY

I remember. Hi, Xander.

 

XANDER

You remember me?

 

BUFFY

Well... from yesterday. I met you yesterday.

 

XANDER

So you remember me from yesterday. That's good. That's a start. Coming along nicely, there. So what's the deal, then, why are we here, Giles?

 

GILES

I honestly don't know. You might try asking Spike he won't give me any answers.

 

Spike is on the spot.

 

SPIKE

Look, I told you. I'm just concerned that she's acting a bit... you know... out of character.

 

GILES

Well, that's to be expected, Spike, she doesn't remember anything.

 

SPIKE

I know, but... I just thought you all should be around to sort of... help... I mean, help her... with... uh...

 

Spike is drowning. He looks out the window for a distraction and finds one.

 

SPIKE

Look, the witches are here!

 

He bounds over to open the door for them.

 

WILLOW

What happened? What's wrong?

 

DAWN

Geez, Spike. Did you call in the national guard too?

 

SPIKE

(defensive)

Buffy needs her friends around her!

 

XANDER

Hey, we don't need you to tell us that!

 

WILLOW

Is someone going to explain to me what's going on?

 

GILES

(taking off his glasses)

If you find out I'd appreciate an update myself.

 

Buffy stands up.

 

BUFFY

You guys, I am perfectly fine! Nothing is wrong with me except that I can't remember anything about myself or any of you. Okay? But I am in no immediate danger, so stop worrying.

 

She locks eyes with Spike.

 

BUFFY

Can I see you in the other room for a minute?

 

SPIKE

Me?

 

BUFFY

Yes, Spike. You.

 

Spike slumps and marches into the kitchen obediently. Buffy follows with an angry look on her face. The others watch the vampire and the slayer disappear, then turn to one another.

 

WILLOW

What are we doing here?

 

XANDER

I want to know what's going on between those two. Why do they need a secret meeting in the kitchen? I bet he's poisoning her mind against us.

 

DAWN

Xander! Shut up. He is not.

 

XANDER

See... he already got to Dawn!

 

GILES

Oh for God's sake, Xander, do shut up.

 

KITCHEN

 

BUFFY

(hoarse whisper)

What the hell is the matter with you? What are they doing here?

 

SPIKE

I didn't think you should be alone.

 

BUFFY

I wasn't alone!

 

This is killing Spike. He stops to try and formulate his thoughts, then continues softly.

 

SPIKE

Listen to me. I don't want it this way. You don't remember me. You wouldn't be acting this way if you did.

 

BUFFY

Maybe I don't remember you, but last night--

 

SPIKE

Last night I could have made all that stuff up and you wouldn't know the difference!

 

BUFFY

Yes, I would have.

 

SPIKE

How, Buffy?

 

She has no response.

 

SPIKE

You have no idea who I am or how you felt about me before all this. So I can't help but feel like... whatever this is between us... it isn't real.

 

BUFFY

How can you say that? When I woke up yesterday morning, everything was strange and unfamiliar.

 

She moves closer to him.

 

BUFFY

When I woke up this morning... everything was right.

 

SPIKE

(backing away)

Now... right there... see... you don't say things like that. That is not you.

 

BUFFY

(frustrated)

Well, maybe I am different now. Who cares! I might never remember anything! But right now, today, I know how I feel. And, if I didn't feel this way before, then... I must not have been very smart.

 

She moves even closer to Spike and takes his hands in hers. Very slowly, she stands on tiptoe, brushes her lips against his and backs away again to look at him. He tries to be stoic, but her eyes are too much for him. He shudders and catches her mouth again with his, kissing her deeply.

 

Another flash for Buffy. She's felt this before, when they were engaged. There's that engaged thing again. What the hell is that about? Spike darts his tongue into her mouth and suddenly all thoughts melt away. She moans and sags against him. And there they are, Buffy and Spike, making out in the kitchen while their cocoa mugs sit unwashed in the sink, nearby.

 

Suddenly, Spike pushes her away from him. He pivots around for a minute, trying to shake the tingling.

 

SPIKE

Dammit Slayer! Why do you have to be so bleeding stubborn!

 

BUFFY

(dazed)

Spike... what?

 

SPIKE

No means bloody NO!

 

He rubs at his chest.

 

SPIKE

Oh God! It's a good thing I can't have a heart attack.

 

He is breathing heavily and moving around like a caged animal, trying to get control of himself.

 

BUFFY

What did you call me?

 

SPIKE

What?

 

BUFFY

You called me 'Slayer.'

 

Spike stops.

 

SPIKE

Yeah?

 

BUFFY

You call me Slayer.

 

SPIKE

Buffy? What--

 

BUFFY

I'm the slayer. And that's what you call me.

 

SPIKE

Yeah, I told you that last night.

 

BUFFY

No! No but, you just called me Slayer... and...

 

Buffy is getting very anxious. Something is trying to knock down a door in her brain. She looks unsteady. Spike gets worried and holds her by the arms.

 

SPIKE

Buffy? Do you remember something?

 

She looks up into Spike's eyes. "You know you want to Dance." "Hey, no... look at me. I love you." "Hello Cutie"

 

BUFFY

I don't... I... I...

 

SPIKE

Buffy, what's wrong?

 

"What's wrong?" A flash of Spike standing with a shot gun, sitting next to her, patting her back, comforting. Kindness.

 

BUFFY

Who... who's William?

 

Spike blanches.

 

SPIKE

William?

 

More memories take over as she looks around the kitchen.

 

"Do you really think you're ready Buffy?" A plate smashes. "Let's make Waffles." "If you walk out that door right now..."

 

BUFFY

MOM?

 

SPIKE

Buffy? Buffy? Look at me! Giles!

 

Giles and the others run in from the other room and gather around Buffy who is now disoriented.

 

GILES

What is it?

 

XANDER

What did you do to her?

 

SPIKE

I... nothing... she just went off like this. I think she's remembering something.

 

WILLOW

Buffy? It's me, Willow? Are you okay?

 

Buffy looks up at Willow.

 

BUFFY

Carpe Diem.

 

WILLOW

What?

 

BUFFY

Willow?

 

She looks around at everyone.

 

BUFFY

Where's my mom?

 

And with that, Buffy passes out.

 

***

 

Moments pass in blackness. Then... slowly, some light.

 

XANDER (O.C.)

She's opening her eyes.

 

GILES (O.C.)

Oh, thank God. Buffy?

 

Buffy opens her eyes slowly.

 

BUFFY

Giles? What's going on?

 

ANYA

You're lying on the floor of your kitchen.

 

BUFFY

Why?

 

XANDER

Don't you remember passing out?

 

BUFFY

I passed out?

 

XANDER

Guess not.

 

Giles assists Buffy to her feet. She stares at his face as he eases her into a chair.

 

BUFFY

Giles. You're my watcher.

 

GILES

You remember?

 

BUFFY

You almost died because some medireview guys stabbed you with a jousty thing. And you were the librarian. You hate my music. And once you had sex with my mom because I was selling candy for the high school band. Wait... that can't be right.

 

XANDER

No! It is!

 

ANYA

It is? Then, I'd like to hear that story, please.

 

GILES

That's all right, we know it to be true and that's all that matters.

 

XANDER

No, all that matters is that you're remembering! Do you remember me?

 

Buffy looks into his eyes. She becomes weepy and touches his face.

 

BUFFY

Xander! You saved my life.

 

Tears sting the corners of his eyes.

 

XANDER

Yeah... It was a long time ago.

 

BUFFY

Thank you. Did you... lose weight? No, that was the puffy suit. I remember the puffy suit!

 

When she says this, she looks up catches sight of Willow, who is waiting quietly.

 

BUFFY

Willow! My best friend! You were a computer nerd but then started dating a guy in a band who was a werewolf. And now you're gay. Tara! I remember Tara! Hi Tara! And Anya! Hey Anya! And Dawn! Oh my God, Dawn. She pulls her sister into an embrace and kisses her repeatedly on the cheek.

 

DAWN

Okay, okay. Get off.

 

BUFFY

I love you so much.

 

DAWN

I love you too. Now stop slobbering on me.

 

Buffy lets go of Dawn and looks around. She is so happy to be able to see all the faces before her and not have to worry about remembering their names.

 

BUFFY

I love you all so much.

 

WILLOW

(crying)

We love you too, Buffy. It's nice to have you back.

 

Tearful hugging ensues. After almost everyone has been embraced in one way or another, Buffy looks around the room.

 

BUFFY

Hey... where's Spike?

 

They all look around.

 

TARA

He was right over there a minute ago. Oh, the back door's open.

 

XANDER

He slipped out. He slipped out just as you started remembering stuff. He's hiding from us. What did he do to you, Buffy?

 

Buffy stares at the open door.

 

BUFFY

He didn't do anything, Xander.

 

SPIKE'S CRYPT

 

Spike is sleeping on his sarcophagus. He senses something beside him and snaps awake, looking right up into Buffy's eyes.

 

BUFFY

Cat nap?

 

Spike sits up, puzzled and a little apprehensive about her presence there.

 

SPIKE

Didn't sleep so well last night. What are you doing here?

 

BUFFY

You left in full sunlight. I wanted to make sure you weren't dust.

 

SPIKE

My blanket was on your back porch. And I run fast.

 

BUFFY

Why did you leave?

 

SPIKE

Didn't want to crowd you.

 

BUFFY

But we were in the middle of something.

 

Spike cocks his head.

 

SPIKE

What are you talking about?

 

BUFFY

Spike, I remembered my whole life today. You don't think I can remember this morning?

 

Spike hops off the sarcophagus to put some distance between himself and Buffy.

 

SPIKE

No point in bringing all that up now. Things are back to normal... and as they should be.

 

BUFFY

Well, I just came to thank you for not taking advantage of me, even though I made it almost impossible not to. You really came through. So... you know... Thanks.

 

This is unexpected. Spike nods at her, unable to think of anything to say that won't sound stupid.

 

BUFFY

Okay... so. I'm going now.

 

SPIKE

(trying to be casual)

Right. Well, thanks for checking in, then.

 

BUFFY

Sure.

 

She turns to leave, stops, steels her resolve and turns back.

 

BUFFY

Spike?

 

SPIKE

Yeah?

 

BUFFY

I just wanted to say... when your life comes back to you all at once, you get a chance to look at it with a new perspective. I had no idea how much I've relied on you and how much you've given me over the years. All I ever focused on was the bad stuff. And I'm sorry for that.

 

SPIKE

Please don't---

 

She's on a roll... she keeps going.

 

BUFFY

I was really scared yesterday. Terrified. And you, out of everyone else, were the one I felt safest with. I think that outshines anything that may have happened between us in the past.

 

Spike's knees are buckling, he has to sit down. He plops heavily into his chair and just stares at her.

 

BUFFY

So...

 

She looks down at her hands, they are shaking. Taking a deep breath, she forces herself to meet his eyes.

 

BUFFY

...I, Buffy Summers, being of sound mind and body, (smiling) am here to tell you, that if and when I make another offer like I did this morning... I'm going to mean it. And if you reject me again, I'm kicking your ass.

 

With a cool smile that belies the pounding in her chest, she turns and exits the crypt. Spike just watches her go, completely dumbfounded.

 

THE END


End file.
